Since I've been dead for the past five days and this is Holy Week, it would be the perfect opportunity to keep your promise of resurrection. Oh Holy Father in heaven I offer a blanket apology for any indiscretions and confess all my sins, real or imagined. I am sure that thou hast perfectly good reason to smite me as I am a lowly human, created in your image with free will, but lacking definitive instruction on how to use it properly. And, since I am a descendant of that accursed couple from paradise, I have inherited the full brunt of their ancient transgressions.
I have been laid low. Please oh lord, raise me up so that I may not satisfy my own personal agenda, but be the stalwart buttress that supports those about me who need and depend on me. You know who they are. It's not that I am questioning your divine plan, since by definition, it's … uh … divine, but only saying that from my perspective, right now, kind of sucks and is not congruent with what I have been taught about my own reason for existence. Please forgive me also for using "sucks" in a prayer.
I hope to arise from my slab on Easter morning rejuvenated from my early demise with all the hope and promise of a reborn soul. But I'll settle for a temperature below 100°F and not every joint and muscle hurting so I can continue to do your good work.